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Manitoba, Canada
well... I love photography, I laugh easily and a lot, I like talking and I'm going to try to write in here at least once a week.

Thursday, May 7

the definition of love

This is a poem by Andrew Landon. It is kind of wordy and I think I could re wright it and make it better but then it wouldn't be mine and it wouldn't be his ... so it would be nothing I guess. It is really sweet and I hope my husband to be will some day read this ( if I get married) because its true. Even if you think this poem is written bad ( I don't but I know people who do) read it, please. There are some REALLY good lines and phrases it there!

Love is a funny thing.
You expect it to be easy.
You expect it to be a world of roses
and laughs and perfect moments
that you find only in movies.

You expect her to
always say the right thing, and
always know exactly how you feel,
or exactly how to react to it.
You expect her to calm you down when you're yelling
or to chase you when you run away.

You expect so much
that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated
when something doesn't exactly match up to all your plans.

But that's the thing.
Love isn't a plan.
It doesn't have a certain beginning
and it certainly has no end,
or a visible finish line to those deeply in it.

Love happens;
it is so incredibly messy.
People around you can't comprehend
why you do the things you do,
or why you fight so hard
for something that seems to cause you so much pain.

Because simply, they can't see.
They can't see the invisible ring of insanity
that surrounds you when you're in love.
It's inconvenient
and painful
and devastating at times,
but we can't live without it.

What you don't learn is how hard love is.
How much work it takes.
How much of ourselves we have to put into it.
How it isn't worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it.

Love isn't her calming you down when you yell.
It's her yelling, just as loud, just as hard,
right back at you, right in your face
to wake you up and to keep you grounded.

It isn't her or him bringing you roses everyday
or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable.
It's right after a long fight,
that drains the life and bones right out of both of you,
and yet her or him showing up at your door the next morning anyway.

It's not her saying all the right things
or knowing exactly how to handle you.
So no, it's not her caressing your hair
and telling you everything is going to be okay.
It's her standing there,
admitting she's just as scared as you are.

You have to remember that with love,
you're not the only one involved.
You've unknowingly put your life, your heart
into the palm of an others hand and saying,
Do what you will.
Mash it into a million pieces, mash it into meat.
Or forget I ever handed it to you in the first place.
Just as long as you have it.

It makes reality invisible
and it erases all the lines
that we shouldn't cross.
Because love isn't about fencing ourselves in;
feeling safe,
feeling sure about the future.

It's about scaring the shit
out of every nerve in our body,
but pushing forward anyway.

Because all the fighting
and all the tears
and all the uncertainty
is worth it.
And it's a hell of a lot better,
than being 100% happy without someone to show us that
there is a world of a difference
between feeling 'happy'
and feeling whole.


So I haven't blogged in a while. I guess I've been a little busy, but nothing has happened. Lets see, I got a job at Co-Op as a cashier YAY! now my mom will stop bugging me lol and I'll get more then $5 an hour like i did for babysitting. Actually most times she gave me more any way... My beloved iPod drowned and so now its not working and that makes me want to cry... I always listen to my iPod... if you look at all the pictures I take of my self I'll be listening to my iPod probably 70% of the time. So this loss hit hard... I'm hoping it works when it drys out... you never know... I guess I'll keep you posted... I didn't do the scavenger hunt word UP. I did think about it though. There are SO many ways to use the word UP I didn't know how to choose what angle to go from. This weeks word is Chicken lol I wish I would have known that one day sooner... I would have taken a picture of supper yesterday... mmmmmmmmmmmm Chicken!! lol We buy Hutterite chicken its the best... lol they make good cheese too Mmm ;) lol Anyway that's it for now!

I got a job
I broke my iPod
I need to take a picture of chicken
I summed my whole blog today into 3 lines!
(They probably would have fit on one though)